A Walk Down The Aisle

I cannot tell you how many times I hear ‘they seem kinda pricey’ when a couple is looking at vendors especially DJs and photographers. My thought is okay what is this based on? Just price shopping? What someone else paid? Just how did you determine the value is prices? Once I know the answers then I can help guide them to making an informed decision.

Just as with buying anything or hiring someone to work for you price, quality, and in the case of your wedding day – experience will vary. Less money, more money does not dictate quality. Years of experience doesn’t either.

The true things you should look for (if you have a planner they already have and know these businesses as well) are -

• Quality Customer service
  
• Price for what you will receive
  
• Customer service
  
• Reputation/references/reviews
  
• Customer service
  
• How do you ‘get along’ with them…fit your personality and style?
  
• Customer service
  

Can you tell where my focus is?

Your wedding is so important. Everyone who helps make your day is so important. While cost is a very important factor do not dismiss someone who starts at a $1300 when you have a quote for $850 from someone else. Also know a planner can often get you a better price based on quality business relationships…but that person has to be right for your wedding too.

So how do you decide?

Compare, research, interview them, and then take price into account; armed with as much information as you can you will pick the one right for you and your budget.

I don’t know about you, but logic says to me that if I have planned, if I have prepared the final days leading up to a trip, event, or something important in my life should be a breeze, BUT experience tells me not the case. Just the opposite happens.

It is almost time for my dream trip I have saved for, asked for friend’s experiences, have passport ready and SURPRISE a little “wreak havoc gremlin” knocks on my door and something goes wrong. Stress and maybe even panic ensue and I’m sent scrambling.

Your wedding and the last month or so leading up to it probably will not be different. I like to think of myself as a positive person and believe in the old adage the ‘glass is half full’, but I am a realist and if something can go wrong, it will. You are getting married and I was told a few years ago by a respected planner for a venue…it is a wedding, something will go wrong!

So what can you do to prepare during the final few weeks leading up to your wedding day? I like to think of the last 30 days as ‘The Countdown’. Here are some of the ways I would approach this time

• Make a to do list. I’m a big fan of list making. What needs to be done and what really does not matter, put whatever you think of on your list.
  
• Prioritize the items on your list. Tackle the “these have to be done no matter what” first. If you can multi-task, do. Just don’t take on too much to send you even further into stress overload!
  
• Ask for help! Anyone who knows me knows I like to be in control, but sometimes we just have to say…HELP!
  
• Check your vendor contracts…yes again. While we all strive to deliver the perfection, mistakes and misunderstandings can happen.
  
• Know your due dates for remaining items like final payments, head count, menu selection for catering.
  
• Weddings can be expensive, so try to have your money put away ahead of time if you can. That way you are not stressing to figure out how to pay for something. If you are able, pay ahead and then you have just one more thing crossed off that might stress you during ‘The Countdown’.
  
• If someone else is paying for your wedding or helping you, make sure everyone involved knows amounts and due dates.
  
• Call your vendors or if you are too busy, use email. Make sure you have contact numbers, timing for arrival/delivery etc. Make sure they have someone to contact (preferably not you for your wedding day). When I am planning a wedding I check, double check, and sometimes even restate the obvious so there are no misunderstandings. Some may think this is a bit excessive, but I strive for perfection for you and I’d rather have people wonder a bit rather than something be missed!
  
• Make sure your Plan B is in place. Weather, vendor emergencies, illness just normal life happens. Try to have your Plan B in place early and know your vendor plans as well.
  
• Your hotel reservation if you have one, limo service, ‘designated’ driver, and any help you need for your day should be confirmed (just like bullet 3, but you may be using a friend or family member to help with some of these).
  
• Start gathering ‘items’ you want with you for your wedding day and if you are heading for your honeymoon right after, those items too. Packing early really reduces last minute stress.
  
• Take time for you. Spend time with your fiancé too…don’t forget date night. This is so important right now. You have been immersed in wedding ‘stuff’ for months or maybe even longer, time for you two with no wedding plan discussion is very important.
  
• Don’t stop exercising whatever that might be for you. If you don’t exercise, go for a walk. This could be part of your date night. Walking in a beautiful park with your fiancé at dusk is so romantic and a good stress reliever.
  
• Schedule a massage the week before your wedding. Who doesn’t love a nice, relaxing massage? Same with a facial. Schedule it a week or so ahead of time just in case your skin reacts.
  
• Plan your day before your wedding day and your wedding day morning to be relaxing and fun. This is time with your close friends and family. Nails, massage, breakfast out are great ways to relax. Laughter and friendship are so important!
  

These suggestions may seem simple and very logical and really they are. Human nature is to forget about taking care of ourselves, we don’t like to ask for help, and some of us are just so busy with normal life we can’t do the final organization and details. Start earlier than 30 days if you are very busy. If you have a wedding planner helping you, most of these items will be handled for you with only a message of ‘I have this handled’ from your planner so you don’t have to worry or stress.

Remember this is a wedding and something will go wrong. I tell my couples, with me as your planner unless it is something totally out of my control (like the groomsman fainting on the altar last May), you shouldn’t know about it unless it is pretty funny and I tell you after your honeymoon.

Prepare, over prepare and finish early and then ‘The Countdown’ will be semi-stress free and just an exciting time in your life.

Close your eyes. Picture your wedding…what is the first image that comes to mind? For most of us, a beautiful, model pretty bride in the most gorgeous gown. We see beauty, elegance, and money! Pick up a wedding magazine…what do you see? Beauty, elegance, and money…

That may be you, but maybe not. Now this is not meant to depress you, but reality is we are not all models and really do have to keep to some semblance of a wedding budget. So can we have that beautiful dress and the look that takes his breath away? Absolutely!

So what can you do to make the hunt for the dress a pleasurable time? First thing, don’t take me with you…I hate shopping! I really do, but seriously you want to find a salon where you, the customer are what is important. Just like anything else, there are good and well, not so good places to shop. Strut in my opinion is a very good one to go to. Ann will guide you by asking questions to get to know who you are and what you like. She will want to know

Where are you getting married?

Why did you choose that venue?

What are your colors?

What is the groom wearing?

All of these are important factors in helping her to understand you and what you like. Pick up a few of the wedding magazines and cut out the pictures you like. Have you ever tried to help someone find something when they could not tell you or show you what it is or even get you close? Not easy…pictures really help.

If you are working with Ann, she will pull certain dresses based on your size, body shape and the look you want. A huge, huge, let me stress this again huge thing to ignore is the dress size. Wedding gowns are smaller than the normal size you wear. If you are a size 8 you may wear a 12. This has nothing to do with you and skipping the gym for that dinner out with your friends. Wedding dresses run small!

The dress you choose should flatter your shape whether an a-lined dress, or a natural waist to create a tiny waist or a dropped waist to give you an hour glass look. If you like glitzy, let her know. If simple, tell her. If it was me, it would be simple yet elegant…perhaps strapless. It is all about your style. What makes you feel pretty?

Cost has to be a consideration. What can you expect to pay for your dress? As with anything we buy, prices vary so call a store or check their website for a price range before visiting them. At Strut, most wedding dresses you can find will cost in the range of $800 to $1500. Ann also has a sale rack so be sure to check it for your perfect dress while there.

I know several brides who have ordered online and while tempting, not advisable. Yes you save money, but you are taking a chance. These are knock offs of the designer gowns and as with anything you buy off the internet if there is a problem you have to ship it back rather than walking into a store. If you have time and you are willing to take that chance, you may find the perfect dress for less money.

So how early do you want to shop for your dress? My thoughts are as early as you can. Ordering can take from 4 to 6 months and you want to take into account busy seasons. If you are getting married next March, know that you are not alone. Many manufacturers don’t have the larger sizes and deal with the ‘straight sizes’ which are up to size 12 so yours may be a special order. You want to factor Chinese New Year into your timeline since most manufacturers are in China and they shut down for a month during this celebration! Yes a month right at the beginning of the year!

Alterations – again busy season, you want your first fitting beginning of the year if you are a spring bride. If fall is your wedding time then a few months before is good. Here in Arizona, October, November and March are very busy wedding months so you can count on competing for the time of the seamstress with other brides.

You can expect to put about ½ down to order your dress with the balance due when you receive it. In our economy it is advisable to pay by credit card. Businesses do close and you want to have recourse to recover your deposit. You still need a dress to get married in and most budgets cannot handle losing money due to a product not being delivered.

Be a wise consumer, check vendor reviews, shop around and make sure your style, budget, and what you want is all being considered. Take your time, use your consultation to try on dresses and listen to the person helping you….you will know when you find YOUR DRESS. Then like those ladies from the magazines, with your hair and makeup professionally done and your perfect dress you will be model pretty!

I love this business because not only do I meet wonderful wedding professionals, but I get to learn more about the business and how to help my couples. A special thank you to Ann, from Strut Bridal for taking the time to ‘teach me’ a bit more about buying a dress. Although Strut caters to dress sizes 12 and up, she will do her best to help you if you are a smaller size. This fall they will begin carrying bridesmaid and social occasion dresses. They are located at 542 W. McDowell Road, Phoenix AZ 85003 and can be reached at (602) 252-4414. Strut Bridal Salon If you have not stopped by Strut before, call Ann, make an appointment you will be in great hands!

Weddings can be expensive. Even the smallest celebration has a monetary value. The budget threshold from “we can manage this” to “overflowing” is obviously an individual line and one that really needs to be determined BEFORE you start planning your wedding.

I was very fortunate to grow up in a household where money was not a concern. A huge reason it wasn’t was because my parents always budgeted and planned like it was. I try to do the same with my finances and it works.

How can you put that type of plan into ‘budget control’ for your wedding?

Start with a realistic budget ceiling. Regardless who is going to contribute, get a firm commitment (don’t pressure) on the amount and timeliness of that contribution. This is not the time for ‘I think’ I can because you may end up spending money that in reality they cannot give you.

Once you know how much you have to spend, personally I would set aside some of that as ‘wiggle room’ and lower my budget cap. That way you are not stressing if something causes you to go over – my rainy day analogy for your wedding budget.

Your guest list is huge in the cost of your wedding. Many venues, caterers, bar packages, and pastry chefs charge on a per person basis. Some require security onsite when your guest count exceeds a set number. Obviously the number of guests will affect the venue size, the number of tables and chairs, linens, party favors … you get the idea.

Make 3 lists before you start planning of what is important to you two as well as any parent wishes, customs, or traditions you want to be sure to include as part of your wedding day. I recommend a ‘Must Have’ list, ‘We really want this, but can live without list’, and finally a ‘If we have money left, let’s do this list’. Prioritizing will help you stay focused on the really important ‘Must Haves’.

Do your research on your vendors and negotiate with them. Many of the people I know in this industry try to be flexible in their packaging and will work with you.

Friday and Saturday evenings are popular wedding days for obvious reasons. Consider another day, morning or afternoon, or even off peak season if you have flexibility in your date. Many venues and vendors offer discounts for non-prime dates and times.

DYI…great way to save! I have to admit, my planning/analytical genes dominate the creative ones, but with some thought I can craft an amazing centerpiece that not only looks great, but was easy to make and not very expensive.

We’ve all heard of job sharing, but perhaps not ‘bride sharing’. Ask your venue (or planner) if they know of another bride with your colors, decorations, or theme. Get onto bridal forums and ask as well. Many of the things we purchase for our wedding and reception are for that day only, why not share the cost with another couple and both of you use the non-perishable items.

Enlist the help of friends and family members. If someone is a professional, photographer for example, perhaps he/she (will use he) will offer his services as a wedding gift or if he can’t do that, discount his fees. A caution here is make sure he is a professional or at least a very talented amateur…Uncle Joe may have the best intentions, but those intentions don’t always lead to the end product you want.

If you have time attend bridal shows. You can win gowns, photography, venue, planners…you name it. Great way to get ideas for your wedding and to meet some of the businesses. Also look for vendor contests/giveaways. As with anything, do your research (see my Too Good To Be True? blog).

Lastly think about hiring a planner. Weddings are what we do. We network with other businesses all the time so have established business relationships. Many times we can get discounts for you that you cannot get on your own. The perception is that a planner is a luxury expense and in reality we probably can save you money. Obviously, I’d like to have you hire me, but regardless of who you hire, have open two way communication and listen to the advice and suggestions before making your decision. You may be surprised at the money you can save!

The decision to hire a planner is obviously a personal one and many factors come into play with the decision.  Do you like details? Do you like research? Do you have time in your life or are you already busy with work, school, and having a life?

Budget is an important factor too, but not the way you might think. A  planner is not necessarily a luxury for only those with large budgets and actually is very important if you are on a tight budget.  Based on our business relationships, many times we can negotiate for discounts or already get them with venues and vendors which translates to savings to you!

There are several levels of service that most planners offer and  considering your wants, time, and the things mentioned above will help you decide what type of help you need.

Consultations (beyond the initial meeting) or ‘ask me anything’ This  is for the couple who may just want to talk to someone for a few hours to get any questions answered.  If offered by a planner, typically it is at an hourly rate.

Guidance – You want a resource for questions to get you started, referrals, and then a wrap up before your wedding to make sure you have it all under control.  You do the leg work and use the planner as your resource.  Your wedding day management is left to you.

Full Planning. Exactly what the name implies.  When you begin planning you have a partner working with you, but not just any partner.  You have someone in the wedding industry who knows how to research, negotiate, and make the details come together.   If you have questions, concerns, or are just getting overwhelmed, your planner is there for you.  The venue and vendor search and initial contact is handled, ideas for theme and décor are discussed, who do I call for what, what is the proper way to handle this … all questions your planner can field.   Your timeline is created, your rehearsal is managed for you, and on your wedding day you just worry about having the time of your life!

Day of Coordination. You have time and love to plan, but you do not want to worry about your day. This is the perfect package for you.  You handle the details, select your venue and vendors, pick your flowers, decorations, colors, and theme.   Every detail that goes into your wedding is done by you or someone helping you.  Your planner gets involved a month or so ahead of your wedding date to make sure your contracts are in order and you are  getting what service you think you are, she/he (will use she) directs your  rehearsal and then on your wedding day all the details, time line, and problems are handled for you.

My ‘Day of’ goes beyond just the normal 11th Hour.  I am available for emails and phone calls if you have a question while you are planning. If you are needing a referral, consider it done. If you call stressed out and just need to vent, I’ll meet you for coffee (and you don’t have to buy).

Venue Coordinator and Day of too? One thing I do hear a lot is my venue has a coordinator, why do I need a ‘Day of’ at an additional cost.  As with the decisions above, the answer is it depends on you.  It also depends on the venue, but some of the onsite coordinators are only responsible for the venue itself, others do more and will direct your rehearsal and ceremony.  If they provide onsite catering, someone will oversee the meal and bar  as well.   Typically from what I have experienced their responsibility stops at that point.  Who will do decorations beyond putting out your centerpieces? What happens if your florist doesn’t show or the DJ is late?  Who will handle problems?  You or your family will!

I have been told by onsite venue coordinators that they welcome outside  planners.  It makes their day easier and they can focus on the venue setup and food/bar service.  Personally I enjoy working with the catering managers and onsite coordinators.  They know what they have to do and it gets done and I can focus on the other details. Just another set of eyes/hands to make sure the day is amazing.

Planner or not? If you have not planned anything this important before, know that the options and choices can be overwhelming. I do this as a business and sometimes I get cross eyed from all the fine print and choices!

I was told once by a very experienced venue planner, it is not a wedding if at least 3 things don’t go wrong.   Are you prepared to handle a problem or two on your wedding day?

Planner or not?  What type of service do I want?  All depends on you.

Hiring any business whether to paint your house, fix your car, or be a part of your wedding is not easy if you don’t have referrals and know what to ask.

In my experience, while everyone works together to make your wedding amazing, two of the most important people at your wedding (besides the bride and groom and of course your planner) are your photographer and DJ.   In April, my newsletter highlighted a photographer’s  insight into hiring your photographer (again my thanks to Matthew of Raffisson Studio) and while this time I don’t have an interview for you I do have some things that you want to ask potential  DJs.   By asking questions you will have an idea how this he/she (will use he) works, personality (very important!), and you will be making sure you get a professional.

What is your experience?  We all have to start somewhere so new doesn’t mean poor quality, but you  want to be sure they have had training and worked with someone before.   If new, possibly a more seasoned DJ will  accompany them.  I see this as a plus for everyone…they get the experience, there is a more seasoned DJ to oversee the day, and you get 2 DJs!

Equipment is very important for obvious reasons so anything related to that…what equipment do you provide?  Do you supply a wireless microphone? Do you have backup equipment in case of failure (always have plan B J).  What is provided in the package price and what is extra?  Do you have lighting?  If you are really into the  details you probably have a good idea on what type, size, and all of the techie related things that go into a great sound system so you can talk tech as well.

Do you do consultations? I think meeting your vendors that are part of your day is very  important.  You want to be comfortable with them and they need to with you also. The DJ you interview/consult with should be the one who will be at your wedding/reception.

Ask for references if you do not know this person or their work based on a referral, talking to previous customers can help a lot.  Many sites have reviews and that can replace the actual reference checks if you are comfortable with those.

Music…very important! I know should be intuitive, but you need to know the genre(s) the DJ can provide and if you have one you specifically want, this needs to be communicated.  Working with your DJ you will build your playlists for your ceremony, grand entrance, first dance etc.

Does the DJ act as your MC? Someone needs to announce the grand entrance, dinner, cake cutting and  all the events of the night.  Typically this is your DJ unless you have hired a MC specifically to do this.

Does he have liability insurance?  I personally am open on this one.  Having insurance doesn’t make a good DJ, but may offer you some protection depending on what it covers.

What time do your arrive to set up?

What attire do you wear? Can you dress to our wedding theme?

What do your packages/prices include.  Things like set up, number of hours, your  ceremony and reception, lighting are items to consider.  What is your contract and payment criteria.

As a  planner, I find that many times DJs will double as manage/direct the reception.  Your planner is there to do this too whether a venue coordinator or someone you have hired directly.  This can work very well with the DJ handling the front end while your planner makes sure everything works seamlessly behind the scenes if they ‘play well together’.  If time allows, a meeting with the 3 of you will help you to know up  front.

Is the DJ available to you for questions after your hire  him for no additional cost to you?

What is his plan B?  Do you have backup equipment? What if you are ill or cannot make  it?  Do you have someone to send in your  place?

If you have a planner helping you, the planner will provide referrals based on experience.  Many will attend the consultation meetings with you and help get all the important questions  answered.  If you are doing it on your  own, then hopefully this will give you a starting point.  Basically with all your vendors, you want someone  reputable, easy to talk to, personable, and will to help you in anyway they  can.  It doesn’t matter which part of the  wedding business we are in, we are in it and have an idea of what it takes to  make your day perfect and should be more than happy to offer guidance.

Next month as wedding season slows a bit, I’ll find the time to interview  one of my preferred DJs to get his insight for you.

There are many ways to symbolize your love and the joining of your families during your ceremony.   From candles, to sand, to rocks the decision is yours to make.  When two people marry and children are involved, this is a great way to include him/her into a day that typically is for the adults only. 

A ROCK CEREMONY is very special because it allows your family and friends to share a blessing for the two of you that you can treasure forever.   There are a few ways to do this.  One is a small rock is placed on each of the chairs before the ceremony.  An alternative is as each guest enters your ceremony, one is given to them.   You decide if you want them to write their name on the rock, a blessing, or leave it as is and just wish the blessing over you two.  If you would like them to write on it, a small marker is handed out as well.  Right after you are pronounced husband and wife, someone special will pass a vessel for the rocks to be placed into.  Once all of the rocks are gathered, there is a moment of silence where a blessing is given and each guest silently blesses your marriage and future.

 UNITY CANDLES are a beautiful way to symbolize your marriage, but for the obvious reasons – fire, wind if outside, heat in Arizona melting your candles they may not be the best choice depending on time of year and location of your ceremony.  There are three candles for this ceremony with two tapers on the outside of a large candle.  Many times the mothers can light the tapers when they are escorted into your ceremony before they are seated.

 Each of will take one of the tapers and light the larger candle.  You then extinguish your candle or can do this for each other.  The lighting symbolizes the joining of your two lives and the blowing out of the smaller candles symbolizes the closing of your individual lives and joining into one.   If you choose you can leave the flames ignited on the smaller to show the acceptance of the individuality of your partner.

A favorite of mine is the SAND CEREMONY.  The main reason I like this one is the variety of choices for colors for your sand.  You can choose something to match your wedding colors, your home, or just your favorite colors…it is totally up to you.  As with the unity candles, there are 3 bottles or vases.  Two filled with sand are placed beside an empty one in the center.  Each of you pours a bit of your sand into the center vase.  You can do this at the same time (carefully) or alternate to layer the sand together.  If you have children participating, each would have a bottle or vase of their own to add in.

There are two ways to do the ROSE CEREMONY.   The bride and groom each present a rose to each mother.  This can be done either at the beginning or end of the ceremony.  The rose ceremony is honoring the separate lives joining as one and is a thank you to the mothers.  It is also an acknowledgement of the love and sacrifice they have made for their children.  Another variation is either the officiant or the maid of honor/best man offers a rose to the bride and groom after they have exchanged their rings.  The officiant announces that this is the first gift to each other as husband and wife.  A single rose that is the symbol of love.

 There is no right way, there is no wrong way.  This is your wedding, this is your family and you choose what would like to do and how to do it to honor this important day when two become one.   Make it yours …

So you’ve decided to be indecisive in your planning?  Are you sure about that?

For many people making a decision is not easy, for some it is impossible.  Me I tend to think about something, research it, weigh the options and then decide.  Once the decision has been made, done move on to the next thing.  Doesn’t matter if a little, unimportant decision like which running shoes to purchase or a major, life changing decision like moving to another state.   Really, it doesn’t!  I know my thought process and how thorough, okay obsessed, with thinking things through I am and once I get to a conclusion that’s it.  I know I can always fix the situation if I find I made a bad decision.

Many people are not like that.  Perhaps you are, but there is a good chance you are not.

Indecisiveness in your wedding planning is expected.  In fact, I encourage it.  Think it through, make your lists, weigh your options.   What is it you really, really want and just won’t be happy without?  What are your I’d like these, but don’t have to have to love my wedding and finally what are your if I have extra budget left over, I’ll think about these.  These are questions I ask my couples.

The goal of your wedding planner is to give you the ‘perfect dream wedding’.   How can we if we haven’t helped look at all the things you could do?  There are so many things to consider when you are planning your wedding – when and where, who to invite, live music or DJ, plated or buffet dinner, theme, colors just to name a few.  Unless you are in the very small percentage of brides (and grooms) who know exactly what they want to the smallest detail, you will start the planning process overwhelmed.

If you started planning several months ahead of your date then you have time to research and check into everything you might want.  Fireworks, chocolate fountain, horse drawn carriage…what would you do if there were no limits?  If you ask me, I’ll find out for you.  That is what I am here for.   If you choose roses for the bouquets and later decide on lilies, your florist will accommodate that.  That is what she is here for.  Most caterers set the final headcount and meal choice to just a week or so from your wedding date.  They know things change.  Indecision, change is expected. 

There does come a point in the planning when you want to have your decisions made, contracts set, and deposits paid and depending on the season, your planner will advise you on when that is.  In the interim have fun, ask questions, change your mind, and plan your dream wedding!

For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the topic for this next blog and have been so indecisive that I walk away to do it another day.  It isn’t for the lack of something helpful to say.  There are so many ideas or tips to share that might help someone as they plan for their wedding.  It was just that no subject felt ‘right’ until now.

With the holiday engagements and now we approach Valentine’s Day…one of the most romantic times of the year I find myself thinking if I am asked what is really the most important thing to remember when getting married, I’d have to say the commitment to each other.  The commitment to be there no matter what comes your way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love weddings.  Who doesn’t?  The party, the dancing, the food….the gorgeous bride and handsome groom.  The perfect couple.  The bouquet toss and hopeful single ladies fighting to catch it with the hope of being the next to marry.  So much joy, so much hope. 

The allure and excitement start with the engagement.  The proposal and the ring.  How did he do it (or perhaps how did she do it).  ’Everyone asking you to show them your ring.  The comments, the questions, the anticipation of this new journey in your life.  As little girls most of us have dreamt of our wedding day. Who do we invite?  What will I wear?  I want the best, the biggest, the happiest celebration ever!  Of course, all of this is important if this is what you want, but the wedding day comes and goes by quickly.  You have your memories and these are to be treasured, but really is this what the union of two people is all about?

I think the days, the years, the life after your wedding day are what is truly to be valued.  The dreaming, the adjusting to living with someone.  The fights over socks left on the floor, the laughter, the tears all bring you together as one.  Buying your first house together.  Deciding to start a family and then you are parents.  The good times. The tough times.  The fights, the hurt, the I am there for you no matter what you do stamina.  This is what is truly important.

Recently I lost my brother and realized the void his passing would leave after so many years of marriage. I reflect in amazement of how my sister-in-law and brother stood as one no matter what.  They raised children, coached sports, went to parent teacher nights, lost jobs, had disappointments, successes, struggled to pay the bills, watched parents become ill, and with some die…they experienced life.  They experienced it as two people joined as one.   Although they shared a lot of joy, many of the years were not easy, life is not easy.  I watched as my brother endured numerous surgeries and health issues.  His wife never faltered.  Without thinking of herself, she was always there for him.

I have heard our society called a throwaway society.  In many ways we are.  We come together in good times and when things don’t work out, we leave.  I can’t say I have not done exactly that myself.  The wedding celebration over, times are very hard and I just cannot handle this so  time to move on.   The true important thing in a wedding to me is said perfectly in a quote of Dr. James C. Dobson

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.”

Your wedding is one of the most important days in your life.  You save, you plan and your day is finally here.  Everything always goes smoothly in life so why wouldn’t your wedding.  Facisious?  Of course.  There are always little things that happen or minor problems to solve and these are handled swiftly and without your knowledge if you have a planner and if not, someone, maybe you, steps in to fix them.

 But what happens with the big problems?  The weather forces cancellation of your day because the venue is not usable or you cannot make it to your wedding destination. A vendor does not show, or the venue cancels your event at the last minute and you are scrambling to find a new one.  What if none of these happen, your wedding day is going as planned and then something is damaged like your bridal gown?    You’ve invested a lot of money into your wedding and all of these are things that you cannot control…what can you do?

 For me as a wedding planner, if I am scheduled to be at your wedding unless I am in the hospital or totally unable to physically be there, I will be there.  If I can’t, I have a team I can call on.  Did you see the ‘Wedding Planner’?  She had a team.  I have a team.  I don’t have my headset yet and  I’m still dying to say ‘The FOB is MIA’, but I have a team!

 More than likely before you got engaged you did not know any of your vendors – the photographer, DJ, florist, or caterer.  You (or your planner) did your research, checked references, read the fine print in the contract, but what if they don’t show? In our current economy, what if one goes bankrupt and stops doing business?  What happens to your deposit?  If you’ve made full payment, now what?

 If your planner is helping with vendor recommendations, more than likely it is based on a professional business relationship.  I have my preferred vendors who I know I can count on.  I don’t worry that my DJ or photographer won’t show or the pastry chef will have the wrong date on her calendar (partially because I verify, but mainly based on their professionalism).    That said I do however have ‘go to people’ I can call if something like that happens and if they are available, I have the wedding covered.  If the vendor is someone you found on your own whether you are working with a planner or not, more than likely they are credible, but you want to get referrals and check references. 

 Although issues of this magnitude (no show, bankruptcy, weather so bad your ceremony is cancelled) are relatively rare, they do happen.

 As a planner, I will do everything I can to rectify the situation to have your wedding day be perfect.  After your wedding, I will try to  help you get your money back, but legally there is nothing I can do.  You don’t want to lose your money so what can you do?  Wedding insurance is a way to safe guard your investment. 

 When I go on an expensive vacation after months of planning and saving, I would not dream of spending money without trip insurance.   We have home owners insurance, renters, car insurance and medical insurance.  Why not purchase wedding insurance to protect yourself?

 Wedding insurance won’t cover everything and varies by company, but it can give you peace of mind.   There is even protection in case your Uncle Ed (no reference to a real person) falls and decides to sue.   And finally (and I hope you never experience this), but one company will even offer protection for ‘Cold Feet’.  When you are setting your budget, be sure to put wedding insurance on your ‘must have’ lst.

 Your planner has a plan B, you want to have one too.